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The path to the permesso di soggiorno: Our journey so far

5 Sep
5 September 2015 – Thursday we dropped off our applications for our permessi di soggiorni. This is the document that entitles us to stay in Italy – and the Schengen Zone – for more than 90 out of 180 days. I have read over-and-over what a hideous process it is to get to this stage. Frankly, it has been a bit of work, a bit time-consuming, and necessitated a trip home to the U.S., but overall, the bureaucracy has been minimal.
Short version, lessons learned, for those who wish to apply:
  • Your printer will be sucking down ink like the Government Printing Office
  • Buy an extra ream of paper
  • Be prepared to sign a lease and make significant expenditures before you even know if you will be successful
  • Do not give into the first (or second, or third) attempt to dissuade you
  • Have a lot of cash, even more patience, and plenty of TIME

You cannot get a visa without an appointment

To legally enter Italy with the intention to stay more than 90 days in the Schengen Zone, one must have a visa. Application must be made in one’s own country, i.e., we had to go home. I tried every angle I could to see if we could apply here. I tapped friends and friends-of-friends and sources of friends-of-friends at the U.S. Embassy. Italian colleagues hooked me up electronically with their friends at the Italian Embassy in Washington, D.C., but no dice, no shortcuts. We needed to go to the U.S.
On the advice of an immigration attorney, we interpreted the date we exited the Embassy as the start of our 90-day countdown. We figured we had 90 days to enjoy Italy and some post-retirement travel and guests before we were stepping into the realm of illegal immigrants. We targeted August for our visa application.
Visa meme
There are many types of visas: religious purposes, joining a family member, study, and on and on. Our target was an Elective Residence visa, meaning we chose to live in Italy and promised not to work. This necessitated pulling together about a pound of paperwork, but not before we had made an appointment at the Consulate General of Italy in San Francisco. That in itself was a process.
Starting last winter I registered at the C.G. site so I could make an appointment. (You must go to the consulate serving the region of the U.S. in which you are resident. For us, that is Oregon.) Ric had to register too as we both needed appointments. I watched the online appointment system religiously, as they opened appointments out a week or two at a time. May opened up…then a couple of weeks in June. By March, they were getting to appointments at the end of July. July 29 popped up and I said “OK, that’s what we’ll do!” I clicked on all the appropriate radio buttons and selected 29 July 11:45 AM for my appointment. Success! I had a 15-minute appointment! But wait! The day was now shown as “full” with no additional appointments available. Ric needed one too. I was able to get him a placeholder on 22 July, but how inconvenient would it be for us to have appointments a week apart in San Francisco? So I wrote an email to the C.G. Could we come together, please, as a convenience and since “all family members” had to apply separately? Crickets. No response. I sent another email a few days later.  Perhaps my email was not received…I was wondering if we could please come together on the same day? Total silence.
As luck would have it, I was at a meeting of the American Women’s Association of Roma the next evening and joined a conversation where a few women were relating their tales of immigration bureaucracy. I told my tale and a delightful young woman was able to help me. A well-placed communique that she facilitated to the C.G. in San Francisco resulted in a dual appointment as desired. Once again, it’s who you know.
bureaucracy 2
I was also worried about finding the reputedly elusive packets we would need to apply for our Permessi upon our return with visas in hand. The packets are not always available, it seems, and one might need to run around to different post office locations to obtain them. So I started in April. I wanted them in hand before we traveled. Ha! First post office, I took a number for the Sportello Amico and in less than 10 minutes I had two packets! Now I only had to keep track of them until September.

Paperwork jungle

The Consulate General website has a long list of items one needs to prepare for the application. Mostly it seems you need to not be a criminal, have a bunch of money, sign a lease on a place to live, and prove you have healthcare coverage. (Although this latter item is not mentioned on the website, “everyone knows” you have to prove you have private insurance.)
In order to prove our upstanding nature, financial well-being, ability to house ourselves, and that we won’t be a drain on the medical system, it took almost a pound of paper for each of us. I carefully compiled a binder of documents for each of us, tabbed for easy reference. Bank statements for 3 bank accounts, two years of tax returns, letters of reference from bankers and accountants, investment statements, FBI criminal history check, official application, and on and on and on. The C.G. website said to bring originals and a copy, plus have a copy for reentry in Italy, so we each had about 6 pounds of paper flying from FCO to SFO. (Our clever plan was to replace that with new clothes while in the U.S.) This took days to accomplish, spread out over a few months with a concentration of about 30 hours in the last week before we left. We went through more ink than the Corriere dello Sport and at least one tree was killed to supply the paper.
paperwork meme 2
On the 70th day after turning in our diplomatic passports, allowing a little leeway to return and pick up our cats in case we were unsuccessful in getting visas, we flew to the U.S.

At the Consulate General

We had two tasks in San Francisco before we could go to our appointment: get money orders for the visa fees and obtain USPS Express Mail envelopes that were pre-paid and addressed to where the C.G. could send our passports back to us, hopefully with visas inserted.
We filled Ric’s backpack with our 12 pounds of paper and arrived 15 minutes ahead of our appointment time. We stood in line at the service window, entertained by hearing other would-be visa-holders’ conversations with the clerk. Some had interesting tales, others we not well-organized, some had no clue what they needed to do. We were smug in our knowledge of complete preparedness.
When our turn came, the clerk looked at my thick binder and said “Every piece of paper has to fit through this (transaction) window. You’ll have to take everything out. Give me the lease first.” At least I could locate the lease due to my fantastic organization. He scanned the first page of the lease and asked, “Where’s your husband’s name? He needs to be on the lease.” WTF? All this effort, all the travel to be foiled by a technicality? He told us we should go back to Italy and get the lease corrected. I thought he might actually turn us away at that point, close his window and step out for coffee. I pushed back: “We meet all of your requirements. We have all of the documents. We’ve been married for 31 years.” After some discussion, he agreed to ask his boss if she would see us. If!
We were ushered back to a conference table and met with a lovely Italian diplomat who also asked to see the lease first. Same story: Go back to Italy and get it corrected. Ugh! We engaged her in conversation to find out why this was a sticking point. She was worried that the Questura would take exception and she did not want us to have problems when we applied for the Permessi. So we talked some more. Ric offered that we had our marriage license along (in a great set of back-up documents we packed just-in-case). She brightened. “Let me have a copy of that.” We said perhaps we can have the lease altered in Italy before we go to the Questura. That was a hit. (Although at this point we decided not to do so. Our attorney said it should not be necessary, that it is normal for only one spouse to be on the lease.)
So we proceeded through the interview, reviewing each and every item on the list of required documents, the diplomat checking off on each. Frankly, when she saw the financials, she started to move along a little more efficiently. We prepared for this adventure. We have retirement incomes and good resources. We are spending our children’s inheritance.
We continued on, document by document, both my packet and Ric’s. Clean FBI criminal record? Check. “Yes,” I said, “I hope so! I worked for them!” Now she softened even more. Now she saw us as fellow diplomats, a shared experience. “I am sure you will make fine residents of Italy. These should be issued in about three days.” Total time at the Consulate General: 1 hour, 15 minutes. (It was supposed to be a 15-minute appointment.)
Seriously? Three days? The website says 7-15 days. Some sources mentioned 30-45 days! In fact, the visas arrived at their destination 5 days after our appointment!
The copy of all documents the website insisted was required was not. We were told to keep it. So we still had four pounds of paper. We stopped by an Office Depot store and had a copy shredded so we only had to shlep the copies that “might” be needed at our POE. They were not needed, BTW. No one looked at our visas or our paperwork at Fiumicino.

We’re not done yet

You know that saying “But wait! There’s more!” We are onto the next step, a process that we are obligated to initiate within 8 days of arriving in Italy. We landed at FCO August 28 and had to insist we get entry stamps in case it becomes important to establish date-of-entry. (At FCO getting a stamp is rather haphazard in our experience, so if you need one, you have to ask, or you might just get waved through.)
We spent the weekend getting over our trip, saying hello to Roma, and bidding our cat sitters good-bye. Tuesday I spent the entire afternoon preparing our Permesso packets. Yes, packets. An eight-page application, a copy of financials, sources of income, proof of health insurance, and every page of our passports, even the blank ones. Not quite a pound of paper this time. I did some judicious editing. Figured they did not need all of our bank statements.

paperwork mem

Armed with paperwork, Wednesday we set out on our quest to submit our packets. First stop, a Tabaccheria, where we would buy the Marca da Bollo (revenue stamp) required, Euro 16.00 each.  First stop: no they don’t sell them. No. they don’t know where I can find a shop that does. We walk a few blocks to another Tabaccheria. Nope, not here. “Avanti un po’.” We walk a few more streets and score. Back about a kilometer to Poste Italiano and take a number for the Sportello Amico. We did not even have our paperwork out before our number was blinking at the window! This was going to be easy. Ha!
The young man, at a major downtown location, who deals with stranieri all day, was supposed to speak a little English but did not. The first thing he looks at is the application containing the Marco da Bollo. Good. Then he wants the “other” document that contains the fee structure. It is call called a Conti Correnti Postale, a check from the post office that goes to the Questura, transmitting your fee for the Permesso. I needed guidance on this form as there was none in the excruciating instructions in the packet. (The application itself was made easy thanks to an e-book published by fellow blogger Rick Zullo.)  So I asked the clerk, which fee we should pay: 3 months to 1 year, 1-2 years, more than 2 years, or were we exempt for some reason? My impression at the Consulate General was that our Permessi would be for one year and renewable, but here was a form with choices. The clerk said he could not tell me, I had to tell him, and sent us down the street to an organization called 50 e piu’, that would be able to tell us everything. So we trotted down the street a few blocks to this agency (which provides various assistance to people “of a certain age”), where a young woman told us she did not know, we should go to the Questura and ask them. Really? The police station? We know we have to go there for fingerprinting and an interview later in the process, but certainly it should not be necessary to ask which duration was appropriate for our type of visa.
not helpful
So we went home to research a bit more. After perusing a few Italian government websites and applying a small amount of common sense, we decided we would simply check off the box for 3 months to 1 year, pay the Euro 107.50 fee for that (times 2) and basta!

Back into the fray

This time around we had to wait a bit. When our turn at the sportello came, the same young man helped us figure out how to fill out the Conti Correnti Postale then passed us off to an expert for processing the paperwork. Geez Louise! The “expert” was nice enough and knew his job, but he had to cross-reference three different forms with three different numbers for each of us, entering and scanning these items into the computer system of the Polizia di Stato, and extract two more payments from us. In cash. Do not go into this process thinking your debit or credit card will suffice. BRING CASH. Lots of cash. This cash will not be refundable should things not work out.
soldi meme
At one point, he seemed to have completed my packet but handed me a receipt copy of the mailing label for sending the documents to the Questura that bore Ric’s name. I tried to point it out but was waved off. He proceeded with Ric’s packet then could not figure out why he did not have the proper label. Once again I tried to point out the problem but was waved off. He had Ric fill out another label, so now both my packet and Ric’s were labeled with Ric’s name and we feared the numbers would not be right in the system. More discussion. Papers shuffled. Perplexed expression. He opened my sealed application packet and saw the error. Not sure what to do, he simply manually corrected the code number on two documents so the match. The numbers in the computer system and what I have on paper match only because of a hand correction. Not sure that will fly….
Now we have appointments with the Questura for fingerprinting and I suppose some sort of interview, but God knows if this mix-up of coded paperwork at Poste Italiane will plague me. Maybe Ric will get a Permesso and I will be deported.

Base Camp Barton

29 May
We are mostly settled now that we have been at Base Camp Barton for almost four weeks. Why Base Camp Barton? This is a place to keep our (limited) personal possessions and to park the cats while we travel around Europe for a couple of years. We wanted a “base camp” to return to, to call home, to make a headquarters. Here in Rome we have friends, contacts, doctors, and services we need, as well as access to the terrific transportation network of Italy’s trains and quick flights to other parts of Europe.
We have a large "sala," a combined living room and dining room. Some of our landlady's antiques combined with our comfy recliner, our rugs, and a modern sofa.
We have a large “sala,” a combined living room and dining room. Some of our landlady’s antiques combined with our comfy recliner, our rugs, and a modern sofa.
We wanted a furnished or semi-furnished apartment to make eventual departure easier as we have no intention of shipping large items back to the U.S. at the end of this adventure. I found out about SabbaticalHomes.com and started perusing it last summer. Here, as opposed to VRBO or other tourist-oriented rental sites (which I love and use when traveling), I found apartments with pricing more conducive to long term living that are fully furnished.Finding an apartment here is a very different process from finding one in the U.S. There you can fill out an application almost anonymously, submit it, have a credit check done, and with payment of a damage deposit you are approved. Here it is more of a relationship thing, unless you are a tourist renting a VRBO-type of apartment. I’ve had other ex-pats or would-be-ex-pats tell me that they were refused a mid-to-long-term rental, or that the rental suddenly disappeared when they went to meet the owners.
The bedroom has two French doors to the terrace. Very light and airy.
The bedroom has two French doors to the terrace. Very light and airy.
Eventually one popped up in our preferred quartiere of Parioli at a price that was within reach, which is a different concept than affordable. (Rents in Rome are staggering!)  The person who listed the apartment is an ex-pat Italian living in Boston, and the apartment belongs to his parents, so we made contact on both sides of the Atlantic. It was a perfect size, about 100 square meters. Would they be able to rent it for two years? Yes. Would they consider letting us bring our cats? Yes! So we went to what we have come to call “The Vetting.”
Janie models the bed.
Janie models the bed.
One warm September Sunday we met our landlords to see the apartment, had coffee and chatted in a mix of Italian and English. There was no application, no credit check, not even a question about income or finances. It was good enough that we were associated with the American Embassy. We went back for a second look and said yes, we’d take it. Constructing a legitimate rental agreement was another process that eventually involved an attorney, but not for any negative reasons. We all wanted to end up with a legal contract and in Italy there are some interesting requirements. For example a two-year agreement is not legitimate. It has to be a “4 + 4” contract or an 18 month (maximum) contratto transitorio. Perhaps most interesting is that once the contract is signed, it has to be registered with the State and a fee paid. In the U.S. I would stick a rental agreement in my file drawer on the odd chance I needed to refer to it, as would the landlord, but here it must be registered so the State can collect yet another fee. Oh, and just before the formal signing, the son from the U.S. was here to visit, so he dropped by to meet us too. A family affair!
The new apartment guest-room-office is not-quite-ready for occupancy.
The new apartment guest-room-office is not-quite-ready for occupancy.
Italian friends have told us stories about having to open a bank account in the name of the landlord and deposit an amount equivalent to a year’s rent! This is in case of default and only the landlord can withdraw from it. €1,000 rent = €12,000 deposit. To add insult to injury, the renter has to pay bank fees, so at the end of the rental period one has not only tied up a significant amount of cash but does not even get it all back as monthly fees are deducted! Luckily we were trusted and were able to put down only a standard two month’s rent.
The guest room now ready for guests.
The guest room now ready for guests.
Before we unpacked the last box our nephew and his fiancée were in Rome to visit. Luckily for them not in our guest room as it was the place we stashed all the stuff we didn’t know what to do with right away. We had lots of meals out with them as we were not ready to tackle cooking just yet. They left town, we unpacked the last two boxes and made up the guest room the morning our son arrived just two days before I retired. Immediately following our last day at work, we went to Sorrento with him.
So now we are alone for a week and doing the shakedown, figuring out how things work, where things are, where to put our still-too-abundant “stuff,” and how to spend our days. They are going by rapidly. We joined the gym across the street and did our first workout today. How nice it was to not be constrained by a lunch hour for a workout!
We’ve had to have some minor repairs on appliances and it seems the stove (which must be 40 years old) will need to be replaced, but the landlady has been an angel about it all. Yesterday we had screens installed in our bedroom, a blessing as the mosquitoes can be horrible here and very few Italian apartments have them.
The terrace is narrow, but wraps around the bedroom and there is just enough room for two to sip wine.
The terrace is narrow, but wraps around the bedroom and there is just enough room for two to sip wine.
Beautiful bougainvillea across from us.
Beautiful bougainvillea across from us.
Another view out the back door, off the bedroom.
Another view out the back door, off the bedroom.
The lady across the street has a terrace to die for...but she faces west which is less-than-optimal.
The lady across the street has a terrace to die for…but she faces west which is less-than-optimal.
We’ve already been yelled at by the portiera for parking in the driveway for 6 minutes after an IKEA run our first week here. “NON SOSTARE QUI!” she said. “NON MAI!” So we feel like we are accepted. She yells at a lot of people.
The cats love the wrap around terrace and have discovered all the sunspots. We have adapted to hanging laundry out versus having a power-hog clothes dryer. We do have a dishwasher to compensate, which the embassy did not see fit to supply us.
We are expecting guests – my brother and sister-in-law arrive Monday – and the first cat sitters are lined up for a 9-night stay. Base Camp Barton is ready!
Libby has found a good hiding spot, under an afghan on the couch.
Libby has found a good hiding spot, under an afghan on the couch.
This would be called an "ampio ingresso" in an ad for this apartment. I love these big entrances with room for a coatrack, umbrella stand, big table and mirror.
This would be called an “ampio ingresso” in an ad for this apartment. I love these big entrances with room for a coatrack, umbrella stand, big table and mirror.
Many Italian apartments have a service hallway, leading to the kitchen, that can be closed off.  That's Janie trotting toward the camera.
Many Italian apartments have a service hallway, leading to the kitchen, that can be closed off. That’s Janie trotting toward the camera.
The kitchen is the size of a postage stamp, but functional. We were spoiled at our last place!
The kitchen is the size of a postage stamp, but functional. We were spoiled at our last place!
 

Changing house

8 May
In Italian we say cambiamo casa: we are changing house versus the colloquial American “moving.” I like it. The Italian verb muovere is used for lots of things from “moved to tears” and taking legal action, to a dog wagging its tail, but never for the process of going to a new residence, hence changing house. Ric and I have been very busy changing house and thus there have been no posts to GoodDayRome and few to Our Weekly Pizza.
External view at Via di Villa Emiliani. You can see my head in the window to the left of the balcony.
External view at Via di Villa Emiliani. You can see my head in the window to the left of the balcony.
Some of you may not know, but we are retiring later this month and staying in Rome: the plan is to remain here for two years to travel and enjoy before returning to Portland, Oregon. We had to leave our lovely apartment on Via di Villa Emiliani because it was provided by the Embassy and a new diplomat is arriving soon. Last October we embarked on a search for new place (that alone will be a future subject as it was a process unlike in the U.S.) and May 2 we picked up the keys.
We have continued to shed stuff. We started to downsize in 2003 when we left our large home in Lake Oswego for condo life in NW Portland. We continued when we moved to Rome as our embassy-provided apartment was almost half the size of the condo. The new apartment is furnished, although we chose to bring a few pieces along, and as we will be paying to store anything we send back to the U.S., we wanted to send only those items we most cherish: Ric’s collectible trains, some family heirlooms, art, and so on. No sense paying storage for two years for a set of flatware that cost $130.00 10 years ago. We retained for use in Rome things that make us comfortable: our own linens, some kitchen utensils, wineglasses, espresso cups, our Nespresso machine (of course!) and so on. (The “furnished” rental apartment has two wineglasses. Seriously?)
 Our embassy community is a great outlet for selling furniture and we were able to unload sell almost everything we needed to: bed, desk, table and chairs, various cabinets, excess luggage, small appliances, etc. There are several churches involved in refugee relief and the local Episcopal Church, St. Paul’s Within the Walls, was able to take some things and referred me to another large relief organization that picked up dishes and other kitchen items we no longer need. When we get back to Portland my 13-year-old plates can be replaced.
Then there are the things that it is hard to find a “home” for. They might be disposable or unwanted by us, but they might be treasures to someone else. A “garage sale” is unheard of, so we carefully set these items out by the curb to see if anyone would claim them. If they are still there in a couple of hours, we take the next step and put them in the trash. There are people who make a life out of “picking” and no doubt some of their treasures end up at Porta Portese, and there are neighbors who will claim a watering can, flowerpot or lamp.
The train tables-- two-of-four -- momentarily used to stack things before moving.
The train tables– two-of-four — momentarily used to stack things before moving.
Ric had some hobby tables he used for his trains. They fit in the category of things-not-worth-storing-for-two-years, so we set one out in the street one day, and voila! it was gone in less than two hours. So a few days later we set out another one. Whoosh! It vanished while we went to the market. There were still two left and we figured we’d use the same magic act to make them disappear; However, in talking to our portiere who was claiming some garage shelving we wanted to give away, Ric said we should ask him if he was interested in the other two hobby tables. So we invited Emilio up to see them. Oh yes, he wanted them! At his casa al mare he has three storage units and can use the shelving for beach umbrellas, chaise lounges, gardening equipment, and all the paraphernalia one has at a beach house. Or he can put them at his son’s house. But, he wondered, did we set one of these units out the other day? Because Emilio was the
Items left curbside are retrieved by people who can use them.
Items left curbside are retrieved by people who can use them.
person who claimed it off the curb! He is, in his own words, un conservatore, a person who keeps stuff.
Changing house in a city full of apartments with tiny elevators is fascinating. Balconies and windows become entry-and-exit points for boxes and furnishings. The team rolled in with a small truck (easy to maneuver in the narrow streets) and a lift vehicle that provided an outdoor elevator. In less than 4 1/2 hours they boxed or wrapped everything for the new apartment and loaded it on the truck. By 4:00PM they had everything inside the new one. At each end the portiere (building superintendent) supervised the process. A second morning was devoted to packing up the items for storage in the U.S. Click on any photo for a slideshow and larger view. 

 

So as I write this it is early Friday morning. We are still not completely unpacked. The bedroom and bath are organized, but the kitchen is still in boxes and while most of the electronics are hooked up, the guest-bedroom-office is a dumping ground to be sorted out. We have 10 days before the first guest arrives so we need to kick into high gear. And we still have 7 days of work left before we retire.
So we are establishing “Base Camp Barton” where the cats will reside while Ric and I travel, and many cat sitters have been lined up for the coming months. More later….

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015!

6 Jan
The last two weeks have been busy what with four – count ’em – four holidays in Italy! December 25 and 26 (Santo Stefano) we spent in Ortisei (see prior posts), then returning from vacation we had two more holidays to enjoy: New Year’s Day and Epifania.  Life is good!
New Year’s Eve we traveled to our favorite trattoria in Roma, Antica Taverna. The owner Paolo and our favorite waiter, Giovanni, took good care of us and we enjoyed a protracted dinner with too many dishes to name them all and a steady supply of good red wine. The dessert was the only item I managed to photograph, a delightful tortino al cioccolato.  It tasted 10 times better then it looks. It was THAT GOOD.  We slipped out before 23:00 in hopes of finding a cab before the whole city descended into chaos. The buses stop running at 21:00 on NYE because they can’t make it through the streets effectively. Can you imagine? Shutting down the buses because there are too many people in the streets? The Metro runs but unfortunately nowhere near our home. We can walk from Antica Taverna to home in 75-90 minutes, but it was really cold (for Roma) and walking did not seem like much fun. What luck! We found a cab at an obscure cabstand near the restaurant! Got home in time to endure 45 minutes of neighborhood revelry.  Some year we need to be brave and go down to the party in via Fori Imperiali and see the fireworks over the Colosseo. Some year.
This weekend was the start of the winter saldi (sales). We had a couple of purchases in mind and headed out into a bright if chilly Sunday along with THOUSANDS of people making their way to our destination, a major shopping street near the Vatican. We made our way by bus to transfer to the Metro at Termini. The Metro was packed like the Japanese subway on a business day. I wanted to take a picture of how crowded it was, but I couldn’t maneuver to do so packed in as I was with my arms pinned! We wondered at so many people heading out to shop! We might have bailed in the Metro station but by that time we were like cows going through chutes and there was no turning back. Moo. When we got to our stop, the hoards headed down the street toward the Vatican. It was then that we realized they were headed to Piazza San Pietro for the Pope’s angelis. Shopping was busy too, but not quite the cattle drive.
Today is Epifania, the official end to the Christmas season, also called Befana, when the witch La Befana visits the children leaving candy for the good ones and coal for the not-so-good children. Having no young children around and having spent Christmas out of Roma, we decided to have a small group of friends for a decidedly non-traditional lunch. Is Italian-Swedish a fusion cuisine? Our new friends and soon-to-be-landlords had voiced an interest in Swedish meatballs, and she wanted to make a special Neopolitan pastiera for dessert. Combined with a purè di patate casserole, Swedish pickled herring, Swedish cheese, a beet salad, and Italian salumi, it was cross-cultural event. Unfortunately as we got into entertaining we forgot to take more pictures!
So now we have to go a week-and-a-half until the next holiday, Martin Luther King’s birthday. Hope I can make it!

Lost in translation

19 Oct
The Italian movie industry is quite prolific and has given us many fine films including the Academy Award winner “Life is Beautiful” from several years ago and last year’s “The Great Beauty.” Of course there are the so-called “Spaghetti Westerns” of Sergio Leone, Fellini’s famous “La Dolce Vita,” and even “Cleopatra” was filmed in Rome at CinecittàBuono Bruto CattivoStudios. Did you know that Italy has the biggest dubbing industry in the world? Many of American movies and TV shows are dubbed in Italian or sub-titled in Italian. We can watch “The Big Bang Theory,” “NCIS,” or “Law and Order” for example, in Italian or in English with sub-titles.  Naturally, as Italians are aficionados of American culture and entertainment, most major American pictures make their way into the dubbing studio for release in Italian.  Many of them end up with unusual titles that are far from a direct translation, resulting in some generally hilarious English re-translation or are cause for some head-scratching at the very least.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Jim Carrey’s “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” was strange enough in English, but the Italian translation Se Mi Lasci Ti Cancello translates to If you Leave Me, I’ll Wipe the Slate Clean or alternately depending on your interpretation of cancello, it might be If you Leave Me, I’ll Cancel You. Huh?
esplosiva1985’s “Weird Science” was a fun movie. In Italian perhaps even more fun as it is entitled La Donna Esplosiva, which can be restated as The Explosive Woman or  The Bombshell. I like the second one.
My curiosity about Italian names for movies and TV shows came when the annual showing of “The Sound of Music” hit my radar. It should literally beTutti insienetranslated as Il Suono di Musica, but no: In Italy it’s called Tutti Insieme con Appassionatamente or All Together Passionately. Strano.
Having stumbled upon a few fun titles, I did some research for other amusing tidbits. Enjoy!
 

English Title

Italian Translation

What the Italian title means in English

 The Shawshank Redemption
 Le Ali della Libert­à
 
The Wings of Liberty
The Producers
Per Favore, Non Toccare le Vecchiette!
Please Don’t Touch the Little Old Men!
 
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Una Pazza Giornata di Vacanze
A Crazy Day of Vacation
 
Risky Business
Fuori i Vecchi i Figli Ballano
When the Elders are away, the Sons Dance
 
Growing Pains
Genitori in Blue Jeans
Parents in Blue Jeans
 
Trading Places
Un Poltrone per Due
A Seat (or chair) for Two
 
Home Alone
Mamma Ho Person L’Aereo
Mom, I Missed the Plane!
 
The Seven Year Itch
Quando La Moglie e in Vacanza7 Year
When the Wife is on Vacation
 
Cityslickers
Scappo dalla Città – La Vita, l’Amore e le Vacche
I’m Fleeing the City – Life, Love and Cows
 
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Millennium: Uomini che Odiano le Donne
Millennium: The Men Who Hate Women
 
Murder She Wrote
La Signora in GialloSignora Giallo
                 
The Woman in Yellow

 

 
Odiano DonneInterestingly, it is perhaps the American movie industry that misnamed Steig Larssen’s book and thus the movie “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” In Swedish it is Män som hatar kvinnor which means, naturally, “Men who hate women.”
And there is an explanation for The Woman in Yellow as Jessica-what’s-her-name did not wear yellow to my knowledge. In Italy, murder mystery books were Libro Giallotraditionally printed with yellow (giallo) covers. The genre is called gialli. You can go to www.amazon.it and find books under Gialli e Thriller.  Some still have yellow covers or bindings.
Literalists that we Americans tend to be, I have not been able to find Italian movie titles translated as disparately or amusingly.  Here are a few you might know very well in English.

 Italian Title 

English Translation

La Vita è Bella
Life is Beautiful
 
La Grande Bellezza
The Great Beauty
 
Profumo di Donna
The Scent of a Woman
 
Il Buono, Il Bruto, Il Cattivo
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (although due to the artistic license taken with adjective order, the Italian direct translation would be “The Good, The Ugly, The Bad”)
 
Per un Pugno dei Dollari
(For a) Fistful of Dollars
 
Not unlike the U.S., despite the abundance of material produced throughout the world and dubbed or subtitled for the vast network of cable channels, there’s still never anything on TV here.  “Ice Road Truckers” anyone? I mean Guida I camion tra I ghiacci. Questionnable  in any language.